For when someone you care about, or tolerate, makes a catastrophically permanent decision and you want to commemorate it properly.
Some milestones deserve champagne. Others deserve a warning label. This card is for the moment someone you know dives headfirst into a lifetime contract of shared debt, emotional turbulence, and future couples therapy, and all you can offer is brutal honesty wrapped in celebration.
Inside Message: “Here’s to love, lies, and shared debt. YOU ARE FUCKED.”
Perfect For: • Engagements you do not support • Weddings you were not invited to (thank god) • Friends marrying too fast • Exes making terrible decisions • Couples destined for future couples therapy
Why You Need This Card: Because every wedding needs at least one voice of honesty, even if it is sealed inside a greeting card.
