{"product_id":"new-year-new-you-try-again-toxic-holiday-card-midnight-meltdown-edition","title":"“New Year, New You? Try Again.” Toxic Holiday Card (Midnight Meltdown Edition)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"191\" data-end=\"307\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"191\" data-end=\"307\"\u003eFor the person who keeps trying to reinvent themselves but somehow always ends up looking worse, inside and out.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"309\" data-end=\"532\"\u003eSome people evolve. Others panic buy hair dye and call it transformation. This card is for the friend who keeps attempting a reinvention arc but somehow manages to downgrade every single time, emotionally and aesthetically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"537\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"594\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"558\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"558\" data-end=\"561\"\u003e“New year, new you?\u003cbr data-start=\"580\" data-end=\"583\"\u003eTry again.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"596\" data-end=\"599\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"601\" data-end=\"882\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"601\" data-end=\"617\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"617\" data-end=\"620\"\u003e• Friends who reinvent themselves every January and fall apart by February\u003cbr data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"697\"\u003e• Exes who think a new haircut equals emotional maturity\u003cbr data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"756\"\u003e• Family members who love drama and call it growth\u003cbr data-start=\"806\" data-end=\"809\"\u003e• Anyone who needs a sarcastic reset button disguised as a holiday card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"884\" data-end=\"887\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"1017\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"916\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"916\" data-end=\"919\"\u003eBecause sometimes the most supportive thing you can say is please stop pretending this is working.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515746664662,"sku":"MS-8771-“NE-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/NewYear_NewYou_TryAgain._ToxicHolidayCard_MidnightMeltdownEdition_-1.jpg?v=1774568177","url":"https:\/\/www.toxiccard.com\/products\/new-year-new-you-try-again-toxic-holiday-card-midnight-meltdown-edition","provider":"Toxic Card","version":"1.0","type":"link"}