{"product_id":"new-year-new-me-said-you-every-year-while-staying-exactly-the-same","title":"“New Year, New Me” (Except… No)  Toxic Holiday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"206\" data-end=\"317\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"206\" data-end=\"317\"\u003eFor the person who has made the same resolution since the early 2000s and has evolved exactly zero percent.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"319\" data-end=\"587\"\u003eSome people embrace growth. Others copy and paste the same resolution every January and somehow get worse at it each time. This card is for the friend whose personality has not updated since dial up internet and who treats self improvement like an optional suggestion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"589\" data-end=\"592\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"692\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"613\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"613\" data-end=\"616\"\u003e“‘New year, new me’\u003cbr data-start=\"635\" data-end=\"638\"\u003esaid you every year\u003cbr data-start=\"657\" data-end=\"660\"\u003ewhile staying exactly the same.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"697\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"699\" data-end=\"907\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"699\" data-end=\"715\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"715\" data-end=\"718\"\u003e• Exes who swear they are different now\u003cbr data-start=\"757\" data-end=\"760\"\u003e• Friends with annual delusion cycles\u003cbr data-start=\"797\" data-end=\"800\"\u003e• Siblings stuck in perpetual reboot mode\u003cbr data-start=\"841\" data-end=\"844\"\u003e• Anyone whose personality has not been updated since dial up\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"909\" data-end=\"912\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"914\" data-end=\"1069\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"914\" data-end=\"941\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"941\" data-end=\"944\"\u003eEveryone knows someone who treats the new year like a software update but never installs it. This card honors that tradition.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515522957526,"sku":"MS-2897-’NE-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/NewYear_NewMe_Except_No_ToxicHolidayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568242","url":"https:\/\/www.toxiccard.com\/products\/new-year-new-me-said-you-every-year-while-staying-exactly-the-same","provider":"Toxic Card","version":"1.0","type":"link"}