{"product_id":"happy-birthday-you-re-basically-vintage-disappointment-now-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Happy Birthday. You’re Basically Vintage Disappointment Now.”  Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"92\" data-end=\"144\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"92\" data-end=\"144\"\u003eFor the person who has aged like milk, not wine.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"146\" data-end=\"313\"\u003eSome people age gracefully. Others simply curdle. Time has passed, but improvement clearly has not, and the expiration date on their glow up is now a full crime scene.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"315\" data-end=\"318\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"320\" data-end=\"406\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"320\" data-end=\"339\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"339\" data-end=\"342\"\u003e“Happy Birthday.\u003cbr data-start=\"358\" data-end=\"361\"\u003eYou’re basically vintage disappointment now.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"408\" data-end=\"411\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"413\" data-end=\"608\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"413\" data-end=\"429\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"429\" data-end=\"432\"\u003e• People who peaked years ago\u003cbr data-start=\"461\" data-end=\"464\"\u003e• Friends who deserve a roast\u003cbr data-start=\"493\" data-end=\"496\"\u003e• Birthdays where optimism died\u003cbr data-start=\"527\" data-end=\"530\"\u003e• Relatives who age but do not mature\u003cbr data-start=\"567\" data-end=\"570\"\u003e• Anyone who needs a yearly humbling\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"610\" data-end=\"613\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"615\" data-end=\"725\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"615\" data-end=\"642\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"645\"\u003eBecause getting older is inevitable, and dragging someone for it is an art form.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529535504598,"sku":"MS-9833-“HA-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/HappyBirthday.You_reBasicallyVintageDisappointmentNow._ToxicBirthdayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568031","url":"https:\/\/www.toxiccard.com\/products\/happy-birthday-you-re-basically-vintage-disappointment-now-toxic-birthday-card","provider":"Toxic Card","version":"1.0","type":"link"}