{"product_id":"happy-birthday-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Happy Birthday” Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"142\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"142\"\u003eFor the person who ages every year but somehow never levels up.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"144\" data-end=\"333\"\u003eSome people grow older. Others simply accumulate birthdays. Their maturity bar is permanently stuck at zero percent, buffering endlessly with no sign of progress. A true icon of stagnation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"335\" data-end=\"338\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"340\" data-end=\"443\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"340\" data-end=\"359\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"359\" data-end=\"362\"\u003e“Happy Birthday\u003cbr data-start=\"377\" data-end=\"380\"\u003eAnother year older, still not wiser.\u003cbr data-start=\"416\" data-end=\"419\"\u003eImpressive consistency.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"445\" data-end=\"448\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"450\" data-end=\"687\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"450\" data-end=\"466\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"466\" data-end=\"469\"\u003e• People who age but do not evolve\u003cbr data-start=\"503\" data-end=\"506\"\u003e• Friends who thrive on insults\u003cbr data-start=\"537\" data-end=\"540\"\u003e• Siblings who deserve a gentle verbal shove\u003cbr data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"587\"\u003e• Coworkers who peaked early\u003cbr data-start=\"615\" data-end=\"618\"\u003e• Anyone who treats birthdays like warnings instead of celebrations\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"689\" data-end=\"692\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"797\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"721\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"721\" data-end=\"724\"\u003eBecause some people deserve honesty on their birthday, not encouragement.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529535078614,"sku":"MS-4592-“HA-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/HappyBirthday_ToxicBirthdayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568038","url":"https:\/\/www.toxiccard.com\/products\/happy-birthday-toxic-birthday-card","provider":"Toxic Card","version":"1.0","type":"link"}