{"product_id":"congrats-you-re-fucked-toxic-engagement-card","title":"“Congrats… You’re Fucked.” Toxic Engagement Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"197\" data-end=\"331\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"197\" data-end=\"331\"\u003eFor when someone you care about, or tolerate, makes a catastrophically permanent decision and you want to commemorate it properly.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"333\" data-end=\"615\"\u003eSome milestones deserve champagne. Others deserve a warning label. This card is for the moment someone you know dives headfirst into a lifetime contract of shared debt, emotional turbulence, and future couples therapy, and all you can offer is brutal honesty wrapped in celebration.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"617\" data-end=\"620\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"622\" data-end=\"702\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"622\" data-end=\"641\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"641\" data-end=\"644\"\u003e“Here’s to love, lies, and shared debt.\u003cbr data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"686\"\u003eYOU ARE FUCKED.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"704\" data-end=\"707\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"709\" data-end=\"924\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"709\" data-end=\"725\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"725\" data-end=\"728\"\u003e• Engagements you do not support\u003cbr data-start=\"760\" data-end=\"763\"\u003e• Weddings you were not invited to (thank god)\u003cbr data-start=\"809\" data-end=\"812\"\u003e• Friends marrying too fast\u003cbr data-start=\"839\" data-end=\"842\"\u003e• Exes making terrible decisions\u003cbr data-start=\"874\" data-end=\"877\"\u003e• Couples destined for future couples therapy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"926\" data-end=\"929\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"931\" data-end=\"1064\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"931\" data-end=\"958\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"958\" data-end=\"961\"\u003eBecause every wedding needs at least one voice of honesty, even if it is sealed inside a greeting card.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515773796566,"sku":"MS-3192-“CO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/Congrats_You_reFucked._ToxicEngagementCard-1.jpg?v=1774568171","url":"https:\/\/www.toxiccard.com\/products\/congrats-you-re-fucked-toxic-engagement-card","provider":"Toxic Card","version":"1.0","type":"link"}