{"title":"Petty Revenge","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"new-year-new-you-try-again-toxic-holiday-card","title":"“New Year, New You? Try Again.”  Toxic Holiday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"173\" data-end=\"261\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"173\" data-end=\"261\"\u003eFor the friend who thinks a box of drugstore hair dye can fix a personality problem.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"263\" data-end=\"493\"\u003eSome people work on themselves. Others grab the cheapest box of midnight hair dye they can find and pray for a miracle. This card is for the friend who believes a new shade will solve what therapy, time, and common sense have not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"495\" data-end=\"498\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"500\" data-end=\"555\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"500\" data-end=\"519\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"519\" data-end=\"522\"\u003e“New year, new you?\u003cbr data-start=\"541\" data-end=\"544\"\u003eTry again.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"557\" data-end=\"560\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"562\" data-end=\"800\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"562\" data-end=\"578\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"578\" data-end=\"581\"\u003e• Friends who swear this is their year every year\u003cbr data-start=\"630\" data-end=\"633\"\u003e• Exes who choose cosmetic change over actual growth\u003cbr data-start=\"685\" data-end=\"688\"\u003e• Siblings who create chaos in bathrooms and in life\u003cbr data-start=\"740\" data-end=\"743\"\u003e• Anyone who needs a reality check in holiday card form\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"802\" data-end=\"805\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"807\" data-end=\"949\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"807\" data-end=\"834\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"834\" data-end=\"837\"\u003eBecause some people need the truth before they buy another self help journal or a nine dollar box of false hope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515741454550,"sku":"MS-0791-“NE-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/NewYear_NewYou_TryAgain._ToxicHolidayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568184"},{"product_id":"new-year-new-you-try-again-toxic-holiday-card-midnight-meltdown-edition","title":"“New Year, New You? Try Again.” Toxic Holiday Card (Midnight Meltdown Edition)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"191\" data-end=\"307\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"191\" data-end=\"307\"\u003eFor the person who keeps trying to reinvent themselves but somehow always ends up looking worse, inside and out.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"309\" data-end=\"532\"\u003eSome people evolve. Others panic buy hair dye and call it transformation. This card is for the friend who keeps attempting a reinvention arc but somehow manages to downgrade every single time, emotionally and aesthetically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"537\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"594\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"558\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"558\" data-end=\"561\"\u003e“New year, new you?\u003cbr data-start=\"580\" data-end=\"583\"\u003eTry again.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"596\" data-end=\"599\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"601\" data-end=\"882\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"601\" data-end=\"617\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"617\" data-end=\"620\"\u003e• Friends who reinvent themselves every January and fall apart by February\u003cbr data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"697\"\u003e• Exes who think a new haircut equals emotional maturity\u003cbr data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"756\"\u003e• Family members who love drama and call it growth\u003cbr data-start=\"806\" data-end=\"809\"\u003e• Anyone who needs a sarcastic reset button disguised as a holiday card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"884\" data-end=\"887\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"1017\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"916\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"916\" data-end=\"919\"\u003eBecause sometimes the most supportive thing you can say is please stop pretending this is working.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515746664662,"sku":"MS-8771-“NE-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/NewYear_NewYou_TryAgain._ToxicHolidayCard_MidnightMeltdownEdition_-1.jpg?v=1774568177"},{"product_id":"two-clowns-one-circus-toxic-congratulations-card","title":"“Two Clowns, One Circus” Toxic Congratulations Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"192\" data-end=\"278\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"192\" data-end=\"278\"\u003eFor the couple or business partners who deserve each other, and not in a good way.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"280\" data-end=\"509\"\u003eSome partnerships create magic. Others create chaos. And then there are the duos who combine their messes into one unstoppable circus. This card celebrates the moment two clowns finally join forces and make the disaster official.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"511\" data-end=\"514\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"516\" data-end=\"589\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"516\" data-end=\"535\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"535\" data-end=\"538\"\u003e“Two clowns, one circus.\u003cbr data-start=\"562\" data-end=\"565\"\u003eCongrats on the merger.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"591\" data-end=\"594\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"596\" data-end=\"823\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"596\" data-end=\"612\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"612\" data-end=\"615\"\u003e• Couples destined for chaos\u003cbr data-start=\"643\" data-end=\"646\"\u003e• Friends entering terrible partnerships\u003cbr data-start=\"686\" data-end=\"689\"\u003e• Weddings, engagements, or business deals you do not support\u003cbr data-start=\"750\" data-end=\"753\"\u003e• Colleagues merging companies for reasons only delusion can explain\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"825\" data-end=\"828\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"830\" data-end=\"956\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"830\" data-end=\"857\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"857\" data-end=\"860\"\u003eBecause sometimes the only appropriate response to a new partnership is, of course, that tracks.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515821965526,"sku":"MS-5827-“TW-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/TwoClowns_OneCircus_ToxicCongratulationsCard-1.jpg?v=1774568163"},{"product_id":"two-clowns-one-circus-toxic-congratulations-card-chaos-edition","title":"“Two Clowns, One Circus” Toxic Congratulations Card (Chaos Edition)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"164\" data-end=\"244\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"164\" data-end=\"244\"\u003eBecause some unions are not a marriage, they are a full blown circus merger.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"246\" data-end=\"473\"\u003eSome couples create harmony. Others create chaos. And then there are the true performers, joining forces to form one oversized, unmanageable circus. This card celebrates the moment two clowns finally decide to make it official.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"475\" data-end=\"478\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"480\" data-end=\"553\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"480\" data-end=\"499\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"499\" data-end=\"502\"\u003e“Two clowns, one circus.\u003cbr data-start=\"526\" data-end=\"529\"\u003eCongrats on the merger.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"555\" data-end=\"558\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"775\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"576\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"576\" data-end=\"579\"\u003e• Friends making a hilariously bad decision together\u003cbr data-start=\"631\" data-end=\"634\"\u003e• Marriages you are not rooting for\u003cbr data-start=\"669\" data-end=\"672\"\u003e• Business mergers doomed from day one\u003cbr data-start=\"710\" data-end=\"713\"\u003e• Couples whose combined personalities equal one full circus\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"777\" data-end=\"780\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"782\" data-end=\"886\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"782\" data-end=\"809\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"809\" data-end=\"812\"\u003eBecause some couples are a disaster separately and a catastrophe together.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515831926998,"sku":"MS-8432-“TW-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/TwoClowns_OneCircus_ToxicCongratulationsCard_ChaosEdition_-1.jpg?v=1774568156"},{"product_id":"you-re-engaged-i-m-shocked-but-not-impressed-toxic-engagement-card","title":"“You’re Engaged. I’m Shocked, But Not Impressed.” Toxic Engagement Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"179\" data-end=\"286\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"179\" data-end=\"286\"\u003eFor the friend whose engagement announcement made you pause, not out of joy, but out of pure confusion.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"288\" data-end=\"592\"\u003eSome engagements make sense. Others make you stare at your phone and wonder how two wrong decisions managed to find each other. This card is for the moment you realize your friend is about to enter a lifelong commitment they probably should not be in, and all you can offer is honesty wrapped in a smile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"597\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"599\" data-end=\"675\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"599\" data-end=\"618\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"618\" data-end=\"621\"\u003e“You are engaged.\u003cbr data-start=\"638\" data-end=\"641\"\u003eI am shocked, but not impressed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"677\" data-end=\"688\"\u003eGood luck.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"690\" data-end=\"693\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"695\" data-end=\"901\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"695\" data-end=\"711\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"711\" data-end=\"714\"\u003e• Friends getting engaged for the wrong reasons\u003cbr data-start=\"761\" data-end=\"764\"\u003e• Exes making suspicious life choices\u003cbr data-start=\"801\" data-end=\"804\"\u003e• Family members with a track record of chaos\u003cbr data-start=\"849\" data-end=\"852\"\u003e• Anyone whose engagement needs a reality check\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"903\" data-end=\"906\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"1013\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"935\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"935\" data-end=\"938\"\u003eBecause not all engagements deserve enthusiasm. Some deserve documentation.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515837300950,"sku":"MS-2180-“YO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/You_reEngaged.I_mShocked_ButNotImpressed._ToxicEngagementCard-1.jpg?v=1774568140"},{"product_id":"congrats-someone-actually-tolerates-you-toxic-engagement-card","title":"“Congrats. Someone Actually Tolerates You.” — Toxic Engagement Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"157\" data-end=\"302\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"157\" data-end=\"302\"\u003eFor the engagement announcement that shocked you, not because it is exciting, but because you genuinely did not think anyone had the stamina.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"304\" data-end=\"568\"\u003eSome engagements inspire joy. Others inspire confusion. And then there are the rare announcements that leave you wondering how someone managed to convince another human to tolerate their personality on a permanent basis. This card honors that baffling achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"570\" data-end=\"573\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"575\" data-end=\"680\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"575\" data-end=\"594\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"597\"\u003e“Congrats.\u003cbr data-start=\"607\" data-end=\"610\"\u003eYou found someone\u003cbr data-start=\"627\" data-end=\"630\"\u003ewilling to tolerate\u003cbr data-start=\"649\" data-end=\"652\"\u003eyour personality full time.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"682\" data-end=\"685\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"687\" data-end=\"886\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"687\" data-end=\"703\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"703\" data-end=\"706\"\u003e• Friends getting engaged out of desperation, boredom, or delusion\u003cbr data-start=\"772\" data-end=\"775\"\u003e• Exes making baffling choices\u003cbr data-start=\"805\" data-end=\"808\"\u003e• Coworkers who overshare\u003cbr data-start=\"833\" data-end=\"836\"\u003e• Relatives whose personality is a group project\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"888\" data-end=\"891\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"893\" data-end=\"1038\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"893\" data-end=\"920\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"920\" data-end=\"923\"\u003eBecause sometimes the real accomplishment is not finding love, it is convincing someone to put up with you forever.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515841036502,"sku":"MS-2719-“CO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/Congrats.SomeoneActuallyToleratesYou._ToxicEngagementCard-1.jpg?v=1774568121"},{"product_id":"you-finally-found-someone-who-argues-as-passionately-as-you-gaslight-toxic-relationship-card","title":"“You Finally Found Someone Who Argues As Passionately As You Gaslight.” Toxic Relationship Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"166\" data-end=\"242\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"166\" data-end=\"242\"\u003eFor the couple whose love language is conflict management at volume ten.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"244\" data-end=\"516\"\u003eSome couples communicate. Others combust. And then there are the two of you, treating every minor disagreement like a championship fight. Your relationship is not built on harmony, it is built on theatrics, tension, and the mutual belief that yelling counts as connection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"518\" data-end=\"521\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"620\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"542\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"542\" data-end=\"545\"\u003e“You finally found someone\u003cbr data-start=\"571\" data-end=\"574\"\u003ewho argues as passionately\u003cbr data-start=\"600\" data-end=\"603\"\u003eas you gaslight.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"622\" data-end=\"625\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"627\" data-end=\"833\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"627\" data-end=\"643\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"643\" data-end=\"646\"\u003e• Couples who fight recreationally\u003cbr data-start=\"680\" data-end=\"683\"\u003e• Weddings you doubt will last\u003cbr data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"716\"\u003e• Anniversaries of codependency\u003cbr data-start=\"747\" data-end=\"750\"\u003e• Friends with a talent for gaslighting\u003cbr data-start=\"789\" data-end=\"792\"\u003e• Anyone who thinks arguing is foreplay\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"835\" data-end=\"838\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"840\" data-end=\"962\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"840\" data-end=\"867\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"867\" data-end=\"870\"\u003eBecause some relationships thrive on conflict, and this card simply celebrates the accuracy.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47526113804502,"sku":"MS-4372-“YO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/YouFinallyFoundSomeoneWhoArguesAsPassionatelyAsYouGaslight._ToxicRelationshipCard-1.jpg?v=1774568083"},{"product_id":"congrats-you-re-one-step-closer-to-divorce-toxic-relationship-reality-check-card","title":"“Congrats. You’re One Step Closer to Divorce.” Toxic Relationship Reality Check Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"156\" data-end=\"254\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"156\" data-end=\"254\"\u003eFor the couple sprinting confidently toward the finish line they swore they would never cross.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"256\" data-end=\"528\"\u003eSome couples grow together. Others grow apart. And then there are the pairs who sprint straight toward disaster with Olympic enthusiasm, ignoring every warning sign on the track. This card is for the couple whose love story is starting to look like a prequel to paperwork.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"530\" data-end=\"533\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"535\" data-end=\"635\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"535\" data-end=\"554\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"554\" data-end=\"557\"\u003e“Congrats.\u003cbr data-start=\"567\" data-end=\"570\"\u003eYou’re one step closer to finding out what divorce lawyers cost.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"637\" data-end=\"640\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"864\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"658\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"658\" data-end=\"661\"\u003e• Anniversaries with tension\u003cbr data-start=\"689\" data-end=\"692\"\u003e• Engaged couples who definitely should not be\u003cbr data-start=\"738\" data-end=\"741\"\u003e• Friends ignoring every warning sign\u003cbr data-start=\"778\" data-end=\"781\"\u003e• Petty commentary\u003cbr data-start=\"799\" data-end=\"802\"\u003e• Anyone who says love is a journey without checking the map\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"866\" data-end=\"869\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"871\" data-end=\"957\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"871\" data-end=\"898\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"898\" data-end=\"901\"\u003eBecause love may be blind, but divorce invoices are not.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529506242774,"sku":"MS-0926-“CO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/Congrats.You_reOneStepClosertoDivorce._ToxicRelationshipRealityCheckCard-1.jpg?v=1774568075"},{"product_id":"you-suck-toxic-cybertruck-enemy-card","title":"“YOU SUCK.” Toxic Cybertruck Enemy Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"101\" data-end=\"202\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"101\" data-end=\"202\"\u003eFor the person who has earned your most creative, most deserved, most spiritually charged insult.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"204\" data-end=\"434\"\u003eSome people are annoying. Some are exhausting. And then there are the rare overachievers whose existence demands a handcrafted insult straight from your soul. Sending anything polite would be disrespectful to the art of pettiness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"436\" data-end=\"439\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"441\" data-end=\"542\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"441\" data-end=\"460\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"460\" data-end=\"463\"\u003e“YOU SUCK.\u003cbr data-start=\"473\" data-end=\"476\"\u003eMay your battery die mid drive on the busiest freeway imaginable.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"544\" data-end=\"547\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"549\" data-end=\"743\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"549\" data-end=\"565\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"565\" data-end=\"568\"\u003e• People you dislike on a spiritual level\u003cbr data-start=\"609\" data-end=\"612\"\u003e• Ex friends\u003cbr data-start=\"624\" data-end=\"627\"\u003e• Petty revenge\u003cbr data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"645\"\u003e• Sending a message that cannot be misunderstood\u003cbr data-start=\"693\" data-end=\"696\"\u003e• Anyone who deserves traffic based suffering\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"745\" data-end=\"748\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"750\" data-end=\"891\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"750\" data-end=\"777\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"777\" data-end=\"780\"\u003eBecause sometimes closure is not the goal. Sometimes the goal is wishing someone a very specific inconvenience.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529515811030,"sku":"MS-7497-“YO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/YOUSUCK._ToxicCybertruckEnemyCard-1.jpg?v=1774571434"},{"product_id":"you-suck-the-life-out-of-everything-toxic-recharge-card","title":"\"You Suck The Life Out Of Everything\" Toxic Recharge Card","description":"\u003carticle class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none [--shadow-height:45px] has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none has-data-writing-block:-mt-(--shadow-height) has-data-writing-block:pt-(--shadow-height) [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" data-turn-id=\"request-WEB:947a7adf-f399-4a7f-9459-f1eb6d685e15-87\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-34\" data-scroll-anchor=\"true\" data-turn=\"assistant\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] thread-sm:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] thread-lg:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] thread-lg:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"f93ac068-9215-40cc-83b5-380df2ad6b3b\" dir=\"auto\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[1px]\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words dark markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"102\" data-end=\"178\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"102\" data-end=\"178\"\u003eFor the person whose presence drains more power than a dying flashlight.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"180\" data-end=\"374\"\u003eSome people light up a room. Others immediately drain every ounce of energy, joy, and will to live. Being around them feels like watching your phone drop to one percent with no charger in sight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"376\" data-end=\"379\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"381\" data-end=\"502\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"381\" data-end=\"400\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"400\" data-end=\"403\"\u003e“You suck the life out of everything.\u003cbr data-start=\"440\" data-end=\"443\"\u003eHere’s hoping your battery quits before the rest of us do.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"504\" data-end=\"507\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"509\" data-end=\"706\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"509\" data-end=\"525\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"525\" data-end=\"528\"\u003e• Exes who drain energy\u003cbr data-start=\"551\" data-end=\"554\"\u003e• Coworkers who never stop taking\u003cbr data-start=\"587\" data-end=\"590\"\u003e• Friends who only call when they need something\u003cbr data-start=\"638\" data-end=\"641\"\u003e• Petty revenge\u003cbr data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"659\"\u003e• Anyone who deserves a personal power outage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"708\" data-end=\"711\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"817\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"740\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"740\" data-end=\"743\"\u003eBecause some people do not deserve recharging. They deserve to power down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/article\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529534095574,"sku":"MS-9612-\"YO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/YouSuckTheLifeOutOfEverything_ToxicRechargeCard-1.jpg?v=1774568046"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/collections\/Petty_Revenge_Button.png?v=1764318013","url":"https:\/\/www.toxiccard.com\/collections\/petty-revenge.oembed","provider":"Toxic Card","version":"1.0","type":"link"}