{"title":"Exes (NSFW)","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"miracles-don-t-happen-every-year-toxic-holiday-card","title":"“Miracles Don’t Happen Every Year” Toxic Holiday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"181\" data-end=\"295\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"181\" data-end=\"295\"\u003eA beautifully bleak holiday message for the person who has been disappointing you on a strict annual schedule.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"297\" data-end=\"525\"\u003eSome people bring joy to the holidays. Others bring the same predictable letdowns year after year. This card is for the person who has turned seasonal disappointment into a tradition and shows no signs of retiring from the role.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"527\" data-end=\"530\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"532\" data-end=\"634\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"532\" data-end=\"551\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"551\" data-end=\"554\"\u003e“Happy Holidays. You are living proof\u003cbr data-start=\"591\" data-end=\"594\"\u003ethat miracles do not happen every year.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"636\" data-end=\"639\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"641\" data-end=\"845\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"641\" data-end=\"657\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"657\" data-end=\"660\"\u003e• Exes who continue to disappoint\u003cbr data-start=\"693\" data-end=\"696\"\u003e• Family members who never change\u003cbr data-start=\"729\" data-end=\"732\"\u003e• Friends who swear this year will be different\u003cbr data-start=\"779\" data-end=\"782\"\u003e• Anyone who ruined last year and will probably ruin this one\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"847\" data-end=\"850\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"852\" data-end=\"964\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"852\" data-end=\"879\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"879\" data-end=\"882\"\u003eBecause sometimes the holidays need a little honesty, and sometimes people do too.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515717337302,"sku":"MS-0260-“MI-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/MiraclesDon_tHappenEveryYear_ToxicHolidayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568204"},{"product_id":"new-year-new-you-try-again-toxic-holiday-card","title":"“New Year, New You? Try Again.”  Toxic Holiday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"173\" data-end=\"261\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"173\" data-end=\"261\"\u003eFor the friend who thinks a box of drugstore hair dye can fix a personality problem.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"263\" data-end=\"493\"\u003eSome people work on themselves. Others grab the cheapest box of midnight hair dye they can find and pray for a miracle. This card is for the friend who believes a new shade will solve what therapy, time, and common sense have not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"495\" data-end=\"498\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"500\" data-end=\"555\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"500\" data-end=\"519\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"519\" data-end=\"522\"\u003e“New year, new you?\u003cbr data-start=\"541\" data-end=\"544\"\u003eTry again.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"557\" data-end=\"560\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"562\" data-end=\"800\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"562\" data-end=\"578\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"578\" data-end=\"581\"\u003e• Friends who swear this is their year every year\u003cbr data-start=\"630\" data-end=\"633\"\u003e• Exes who choose cosmetic change over actual growth\u003cbr data-start=\"685\" data-end=\"688\"\u003e• Siblings who create chaos in bathrooms and in life\u003cbr data-start=\"740\" data-end=\"743\"\u003e• Anyone who needs a reality check in holiday card form\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"802\" data-end=\"805\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"807\" data-end=\"949\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"807\" data-end=\"834\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"834\" data-end=\"837\"\u003eBecause some people need the truth before they buy another self help journal or a nine dollar box of false hope.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515741454550,"sku":"MS-0791-“NE-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/NewYear_NewYou_TryAgain._ToxicHolidayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568184"},{"product_id":"new-year-new-you-try-again-toxic-holiday-card-midnight-meltdown-edition","title":"“New Year, New You? Try Again.” Toxic Holiday Card (Midnight Meltdown Edition)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"191\" data-end=\"307\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"191\" data-end=\"307\"\u003eFor the person who keeps trying to reinvent themselves but somehow always ends up looking worse, inside and out.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"309\" data-end=\"532\"\u003eSome people evolve. Others panic buy hair dye and call it transformation. This card is for the friend who keeps attempting a reinvention arc but somehow manages to downgrade every single time, emotionally and aesthetically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"537\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"594\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"539\" data-end=\"558\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"558\" data-end=\"561\"\u003e“New year, new you?\u003cbr data-start=\"580\" data-end=\"583\"\u003eTry again.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"596\" data-end=\"599\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"601\" data-end=\"882\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"601\" data-end=\"617\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"617\" data-end=\"620\"\u003e• Friends who reinvent themselves every January and fall apart by February\u003cbr data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"697\"\u003e• Exes who think a new haircut equals emotional maturity\u003cbr data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"756\"\u003e• Family members who love drama and call it growth\u003cbr data-start=\"806\" data-end=\"809\"\u003e• Anyone who needs a sarcastic reset button disguised as a holiday card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"884\" data-end=\"887\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"1017\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"916\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"916\" data-end=\"919\"\u003eBecause sometimes the most supportive thing you can say is please stop pretending this is working.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515746664662,"sku":"MS-8771-“NE-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/NewYear_NewYou_TryAgain._ToxicHolidayCard_MidnightMeltdownEdition_-1.jpg?v=1774568177"},{"product_id":"congrats-half-your-stuff-is-gone-toxic-divorce-card","title":"“Congrats! Half Your Stuff Is Gone.” Toxic Divorce Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"198\" data-end=\"313\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"198\" data-end=\"313\"\u003eFor the freshly single, newly broke, emotionally obliterated friend who needs a card that tells the real story.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"315\" data-end=\"538\"\u003eSome breakups end with closure. Others end with lawyers, loss, and a sudden crash course in financial devastation. This card is for the friend who just learned the hard way that love may fade, but asset division is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"540\" data-end=\"543\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"545\" data-end=\"661\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"545\" data-end=\"564\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"564\" data-end=\"567\"\u003e“Congrats.\u003cbr data-start=\"577\" data-end=\"580\"\u003eNow you have to give away\u003cbr data-start=\"605\" data-end=\"608\"\u003ehalf your shit\u003cbr data-start=\"622\" data-end=\"625\"\u003eto someone who did not work for it.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"663\" data-end=\"666\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"668\" data-end=\"855\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"668\" data-end=\"684\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"684\" data-end=\"687\"\u003e• Divorces\u003cbr data-start=\"697\" data-end=\"700\"\u003e• Breakups that deserved to happen\u003cbr data-start=\"734\" data-end=\"737\"\u003e• Friends escaping disasters\u003cbr data-start=\"765\" data-end=\"768\"\u003e• Ex in-laws you never liked\u003cbr data-start=\"796\" data-end=\"799\"\u003e• Anyone who needs dark humor to survive the paperwork\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"857\" data-end=\"860\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"862\" data-end=\"1011\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"862\" data-end=\"889\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"889\" data-end=\"892\"\u003eBecause healing is easier when you can laugh at the wreckage, especially when half of it is now legally someone else’s.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515798700246,"sku":"MS-5945-“CO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/Congrats_HalfYourStuffIsGone._ToxicDivorceCard-1.jpg?v=1774568148"},{"product_id":"you-re-engaged-i-m-shocked-but-not-impressed-toxic-engagement-card","title":"“You’re Engaged. I’m Shocked, But Not Impressed.” Toxic Engagement Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"179\" data-end=\"286\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"179\" data-end=\"286\"\u003eFor the friend whose engagement announcement made you pause, not out of joy, but out of pure confusion.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"288\" data-end=\"592\"\u003eSome engagements make sense. Others make you stare at your phone and wonder how two wrong decisions managed to find each other. This card is for the moment you realize your friend is about to enter a lifelong commitment they probably should not be in, and all you can offer is honesty wrapped in a smile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"597\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"599\" data-end=\"675\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"599\" data-end=\"618\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"618\" data-end=\"621\"\u003e“You are engaged.\u003cbr data-start=\"638\" data-end=\"641\"\u003eI am shocked, but not impressed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"677\" data-end=\"688\"\u003eGood luck.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"690\" data-end=\"693\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"695\" data-end=\"901\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"695\" data-end=\"711\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"711\" data-end=\"714\"\u003e• Friends getting engaged for the wrong reasons\u003cbr data-start=\"761\" data-end=\"764\"\u003e• Exes making suspicious life choices\u003cbr data-start=\"801\" data-end=\"804\"\u003e• Family members with a track record of chaos\u003cbr data-start=\"849\" data-end=\"852\"\u003e• Anyone whose engagement needs a reality check\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"903\" data-end=\"906\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"1013\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"908\" data-end=\"935\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"935\" data-end=\"938\"\u003eBecause not all engagements deserve enthusiasm. Some deserve documentation.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515837300950,"sku":"MS-2180-“YO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/You_reEngaged.I_mShocked_ButNotImpressed._ToxicEngagementCard-1.jpg?v=1774568140"},{"product_id":"congrats-someone-actually-tolerates-you-toxic-engagement-card","title":"“Congrats. Someone Actually Tolerates You.” — Toxic Engagement Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"157\" data-end=\"302\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"157\" data-end=\"302\"\u003eFor the engagement announcement that shocked you, not because it is exciting, but because you genuinely did not think anyone had the stamina.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"304\" data-end=\"568\"\u003eSome engagements inspire joy. Others inspire confusion. And then there are the rare announcements that leave you wondering how someone managed to convince another human to tolerate their personality on a permanent basis. This card honors that baffling achievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"570\" data-end=\"573\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"575\" data-end=\"680\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"575\" data-end=\"594\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"597\"\u003e“Congrats.\u003cbr data-start=\"607\" data-end=\"610\"\u003eYou found someone\u003cbr data-start=\"627\" data-end=\"630\"\u003ewilling to tolerate\u003cbr data-start=\"649\" data-end=\"652\"\u003eyour personality full time.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"682\" data-end=\"685\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"687\" data-end=\"886\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"687\" data-end=\"703\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"703\" data-end=\"706\"\u003e• Friends getting engaged out of desperation, boredom, or delusion\u003cbr data-start=\"772\" data-end=\"775\"\u003e• Exes making baffling choices\u003cbr data-start=\"805\" data-end=\"808\"\u003e• Coworkers who overshare\u003cbr data-start=\"833\" data-end=\"836\"\u003e• Relatives whose personality is a group project\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"888\" data-end=\"891\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"893\" data-end=\"1038\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"893\" data-end=\"920\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"920\" data-end=\"923\"\u003eBecause sometimes the real accomplishment is not finding love, it is convincing someone to put up with you forever.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515841036502,"sku":"MS-2719-“CO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/Congrats.SomeoneActuallyToleratesYou._ToxicEngagementCard-1.jpg?v=1774568121"},{"product_id":"i-don-t-want-you-back-i-want-you-haunted-toxic-breakup-card","title":"“I Don’t Want You Back. I Want You Haunted.” Toxic Breakup Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"203\" data-end=\"265\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"203\" data-end=\"265\"\u003eFor the ex who doesn’t deserve closure, only consequences.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"267\" data-end=\"528\"\u003eSome breakups invite healing. Others demand justice. This card is for the ex who earned neither forgiveness nor peace and deserves to be gently, stylishly haunted for the foreseeable future. Not enough to ruin their life, just enough to keep them awake at 3 AM.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"530\" data-end=\"533\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"535\" data-end=\"603\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"535\" data-end=\"554\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"554\" data-end=\"557\"\u003e“I don’t want you back.\u003cbr data-start=\"580\" data-end=\"583\"\u003eI want you haunted.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"605\" data-end=\"608\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"610\" data-end=\"799\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"610\" data-end=\"626\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"626\" data-end=\"629\"\u003e• Breakups\u003cbr data-start=\"639\" data-end=\"642\"\u003e• Exes who need to feel something finally\u003cbr data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"686\"\u003e• Petty revenge\u003cbr data-start=\"701\" data-end=\"704\"\u003e• Your villain arc\u003cbr data-start=\"722\" data-end=\"725\"\u003e• Anyone who has ever said I hope they think about me at 3 AM and suffer\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"801\" data-end=\"804\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"806\" data-end=\"894\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"806\" data-end=\"833\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"833\" data-end=\"836\"\u003eBecause forgiveness is overrated. Haunting someone is not.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515970961622,"sku":"MS-9744-“I -TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/IDon_tWantYouBack.IWantYouHaunted._ToxicBreakupCard-1.jpg?v=1774568115"},{"product_id":"i-don-t-want-you-back-i-want-you-haunted-toxic-breakup-card-alternate-edition","title":"“I Don’t Want You Back. I Want You Haunted.” Toxic Breakup Card (Alternate Edition)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"167\" data-end=\"262\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"167\" data-end=\"262\"\u003eFor the ex who does not deserve reconciliation, only long term psychological inconvenience.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"264\" data-end=\"527\"\u003eSome people want closure. Others want peace. And then there is you, wanting nothing more than for your ex to experience mild, perpetual haunting. Not enough to ruin their life, just enough to keep them uneasy forever. This card delivers that energy with elegance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"529\" data-end=\"532\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"602\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"553\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"553\" data-end=\"556\"\u003e“I don’t want you back.\u003cbr data-start=\"579\" data-end=\"582\"\u003eI want you haunted.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"604\" data-end=\"607\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"609\" data-end=\"830\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"609\" data-end=\"625\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"625\" data-end=\"628\"\u003e• Exes who need to feel the weight of their decisions\u003cbr data-start=\"681\" data-end=\"684\"\u003e• Breakups lacking dramatic flair\u003cbr data-start=\"717\" data-end=\"720\"\u003e• Petty revenge\u003cbr data-start=\"735\" data-end=\"738\"\u003e• Sending a message without actually sending a message\u003cbr data-start=\"792\" data-end=\"795\"\u003e• Anyone living their villain era\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"832\" data-end=\"835\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"837\" data-end=\"941\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"837\" data-end=\"864\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"864\" data-end=\"867\"\u003eBecause some people do not deserve your heart. They deserve your haunting.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47515971780822,"sku":"MS-7741-“I -TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/IDon_tWantYouBack.IWantYouHaunted._ToxicBreakupCard_AlternateEdition_-1.jpg?v=1774568107"},{"product_id":"congrats-on-surviving-without-me-toxic-chaos-holiday-card","title":"“Congrats on Surviving Without Me” – Toxic Chaos Holiday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"178\" data-end=\"251\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"178\" data-end=\"251\"\u003eFor the people whose life immediately fell apart the moment you left.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"253\" data-end=\"510\"\u003eSome homes get calmer when you are gone. Others detonate. Their world went from mildly chaotic to full meltdown mode the second you stepped out, and now survival is the only thing they celebrate. Honestly, it is impressive they made it this far without you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"512\" data-end=\"515\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"517\" data-end=\"603\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"517\" data-end=\"536\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"536\" data-end=\"539\"\u003e“Congrats on surviving another year without my chaos.\u003cbr data-start=\"592\" data-end=\"595\"\u003eBarely.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"605\" data-end=\"608\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"610\" data-end=\"829\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"610\" data-end=\"626\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"626\" data-end=\"629\"\u003e• Parents who live in chaos\u003cbr data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"659\"\u003e• Friends handling more kids than sanity\u003cbr data-start=\"699\" data-end=\"702\"\u003e• Siblings discovering parenting is not peaceful\u003cbr data-start=\"750\" data-end=\"753\"\u003e• Households on the brink\u003cbr data-start=\"778\" data-end=\"781\"\u003e• Anyone who needs a laugh to keep from crying\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"831\" data-end=\"834\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"836\" data-end=\"952\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"836\" data-end=\"863\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"863\" data-end=\"866\"\u003eBecause survival counts as victory, and because your chaos was never the real problem.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47516068413654,"sku":"MS-9794-“CO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/CongratsonSurvivingWithoutMe_ToxicChaosHolidayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568099"},{"product_id":"congrats-on-surviving-another-year-without-my-chaos-toxic-celebration-card-alternate-edition","title":"“Congrats on Surviving Another Year Without My Chaos.” - Toxic Celebration Card (Alternate Edition)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"141\" data-end=\"243\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"141\" data-end=\"243\"\u003eFor the people whose life went from mildly stressful to full scale apocalypse the moment you left.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"245\" data-end=\"478\"\u003eSome households get quieter when you are gone. Others collapse into chaos the second your shoes leave the doorway. Their life turned into a full blown disaster zone without you, and honestly, it is impressive they are still standing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"480\" data-end=\"483\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"485\" data-end=\"571\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"485\" data-end=\"504\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"504\" data-end=\"507\"\u003e“Congrats on surviving another year without my chaos.\u003cbr data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"563\"\u003eBarely.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"573\" data-end=\"576\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"578\" data-end=\"822\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"578\" data-end=\"594\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"594\" data-end=\"597\"\u003e• Parents living in a constant crisis zone\u003cbr data-start=\"639\" data-end=\"642\"\u003e• Friends drowning in their own family mayhem\u003cbr data-start=\"687\" data-end=\"690\"\u003e• Siblings discovering parenting is hard\u003cbr data-start=\"730\" data-end=\"733\"\u003e• Households with more noise than oxygen\u003cbr data-start=\"773\" data-end=\"776\"\u003e• Anyone who needs to laugh before losing it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"824\" data-end=\"827\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"829\" data-end=\"932\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"829\" data-end=\"856\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"856\" data-end=\"859\"\u003eBecause chaos does not disappear when you leave. Sometimes it gets worse.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47516072640726,"sku":"MS-6567-“CO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/CongratsonSurvivingAnotherYearWithoutMyChaos._-ToxicCelebrationCard_AlternateEdition_-1.jpg?v=1774568093"},{"product_id":"congrats-guess-what-she-s-gonna-take-half-toxic-divorce-card","title":"“Congrats. Guess What She’s Gonna Take Half.” - Toxic Divorce Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"144\" data-end=\"233\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"144\" data-end=\"233\"\u003eA celebration card for the man about to learn what the word “equitable” really means.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"235\" data-end=\"501\"\u003eSome relationships end in tears. Others end in lessons. And then there are the truly educational ones, where he discovers that love is temporary but asset division is forever. This card is for the moment he realizes she is not taking a loss, she is taking inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"503\" data-end=\"506\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"508\" data-end=\"575\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"508\" data-end=\"527\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"527\" data-end=\"530\"\u003e“Congrats. Guess what\u003cbr data-start=\"551\" data-end=\"554\"\u003eShe’s gonna take 1\/2”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"577\" data-end=\"580\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"582\" data-end=\"780\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"582\" data-end=\"598\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"598\" data-end=\"601\"\u003e• Pre-divorce humor\u003cbr data-start=\"620\" data-end=\"623\"\u003e• Friends in chaotic relationships\u003cbr data-start=\"657\" data-end=\"660\"\u003e• Petty congratulations\u003cbr data-start=\"683\" data-end=\"686\"\u003e• Engagements that already feel doomed\u003cbr data-start=\"724\" data-end=\"727\"\u003e• Anyone who needs to laugh before they lose assets\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"782\" data-end=\"785\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"787\" data-end=\"894\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"787\" data-end=\"814\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"814\" data-end=\"817\"\u003eBecause nothing says romance quite like splitting everything down the middle.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529508569302,"sku":"MS-3682-“CO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/Congrats.GuessWhatShe_sGonnaTakeHalf._-ToxicDivorceCard-1.jpg?v=1774568069"},{"product_id":"welcome-to-the-freedom-era-toxic-divorce-celebration-card","title":"“Welcome to the Freedom Era.” - Toxic Divorce Celebration Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"148\" data-end=\"228\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"148\" data-end=\"228\"\u003eA liberation announcement for the newly un-ringed and blissfully unbothered.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"230\" data-end=\"486\"\u003eSome endings hurt. Others feel like stepping out of a burning building and finally breathing again. This card celebrates the moment someone realizes that losing a ring gained them peace, clarity, and a whole new era of questionable but joyful life choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"488\" data-end=\"491\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"493\" data-end=\"577\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"493\" data-end=\"512\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"512\" data-end=\"515\"\u003e“Welcome to the freedom era.\u003cbr data-start=\"543\" data-end=\"546\"\u003eNo ring, no rules, no regrets.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"579\" data-end=\"582\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"756\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"600\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"600\" data-end=\"603\"\u003e• Divorce celebrations\u003cbr data-start=\"625\" data-end=\"628\"\u003e• Friends reclaiming their sanity\u003cbr data-start=\"661\" data-end=\"664\"\u003e• Breakup parties\u003cbr data-start=\"681\" data-end=\"684\"\u003e• Midlife awakenings\u003cbr data-start=\"704\" data-end=\"707\"\u003e• Anyone who just dropped emotional dead weight\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"758\" data-end=\"761\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"859\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"790\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"790\" data-end=\"793\"\u003eBecause freedom looks good on them, even if the bathrobe does not.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529512435926,"sku":"MS-6198-“WE-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/WelcometotheFreedomEra._-ToxicDivorceCelebrationCard-1.jpg?v=1774568061"},{"product_id":"still-better-off-without-you-toxic-glow-up-breakup-card","title":"“Still Better Off Without You.” - Toxic Glow Up Breakup Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"151\" data-end=\"240\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"151\" data-end=\"240\"\u003eA celebratory reminder that leaving them was the best upgrade money never had to buy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"242\" data-end=\"502\"\u003eSome breakups hurt. Some breakups heal. And then there are the legendary ones where your whole life improves the second they are gone. Peace comes back, joy returns, and somehow you even start looking better. This card celebrates that beautiful transformation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"504\" data-end=\"507\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"509\" data-end=\"610\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"509\" data-end=\"528\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"528\" data-end=\"531\"\u003e“No reason.\u003cbr data-start=\"542\" data-end=\"545\"\u003eI just wanted to remind you,\u003cbr data-start=\"573\" data-end=\"576\"\u003eI’m still better off without you.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"612\" data-end=\"615\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"617\" data-end=\"820\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"617\" data-end=\"633\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"633\" data-end=\"636\"\u003e• Glow up celebrations\u003cbr data-start=\"658\" data-end=\"661\"\u003e• Breakups that aged like fine wine\u003cbr data-start=\"696\" data-end=\"699\"\u003e• Petty flexing\u003cbr data-start=\"714\" data-end=\"717\"\u003e• Reminder messages no one asked for\u003cbr data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"756\"\u003e• Anyone who upgraded their whole life the moment someone left\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"822\" data-end=\"825\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"827\" data-end=\"948\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"827\" data-end=\"854\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"854\" data-end=\"857\"\u003eBecause sometimes the healthiest thing you can send is proof you are thriving without them.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529512861910,"sku":"MS-3160-“ST-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/StillBetterOffWithoutYou._-ToxicGlowUpBreakupCard-1.jpg?v=1774571428"},{"product_id":"still-better-off-without-you-toxic-glow-up-breakup-card-alternate-version","title":"“Still Better Off Without You.” - Toxic Glow Up Breakup Card (Alternate Version)","description":"\u003carticle data-turn=\"assistant\" data-scroll-anchor=\"true\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-72\" data-turn-id=\"request-WEB:947a7adf-f399-4a7f-9459-f1eb6d685e15-106\" dir=\"auto\" class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none [--shadow-height:45px] has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none has-data-writing-block:-mt-(--shadow-height) has-data-writing-block:pt-(--shadow-height) [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] thread-sm:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] thread-lg:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] thread-lg:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-1\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" dir=\"auto\" data-message-id=\"72337303-ccaf-483e-b76d-4026469bc8e0\" data-message-author-role=\"assistant\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[1px]\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words dark markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"192\" data-start=\"106\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"192\" data-start=\"106\"\u003eFor the ex who needs a reminder that your life improved the moment they exited it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"472\" data-start=\"194\"\u003eSome breakups hurt. Others heal. And then there are the magical ones where your entire life upgrades the second they leave. Peace returns, stress evaporates, and suddenly everything starts working again, including you. This card is for the ex who still has not figured that out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"477\" data-start=\"474\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"580\" data-start=\"479\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"498\" data-start=\"479\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-end=\"501\" data-start=\"498\"\u003e“No reason.\u003cbr data-end=\"515\" data-start=\"512\"\u003eI just wanted to remind you,\u003cbr data-end=\"546\" data-start=\"543\"\u003eI’m still better off without you.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"585\" data-start=\"582\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"809\" data-start=\"587\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"603\" data-start=\"587\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-end=\"606\" data-start=\"603\"\u003e• Exes who still lurk on your socials\u003cbr data-end=\"646\" data-start=\"643\"\u003e• A petty yearly check-in\u003cbr data-end=\"674\" data-start=\"671\"\u003e• Celebrating your glow up\u003cbr data-end=\"703\" data-start=\"700\"\u003e• Accidental mail deliveries to the wrong person\u003cbr data-end=\"754\" data-start=\"751\"\u003e• Anyone who thrives after leaving dead weight behind\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-end=\"814\" data-start=\"811\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-end=\"945\" data-start=\"816\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"843\" data-start=\"816\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-end=\"846\" data-start=\"843\"\u003eBecause sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is remind someone you healed better without them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/article\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529514827990,"sku":"MS-0684-“ST-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/StillBetterOffWithoutYou._-ToxicGlowUpBreakupCard_AlternateVersion_-1.jpg?v=1774571423"},{"product_id":"you-suck-toxic-cybertruck-enemy-card","title":"“YOU SUCK.” Toxic Cybertruck Enemy Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"101\" data-end=\"202\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"101\" data-end=\"202\"\u003eFor the person who has earned your most creative, most deserved, most spiritually charged insult.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"204\" data-end=\"434\"\u003eSome people are annoying. Some are exhausting. And then there are the rare overachievers whose existence demands a handcrafted insult straight from your soul. Sending anything polite would be disrespectful to the art of pettiness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"436\" data-end=\"439\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"441\" data-end=\"542\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"441\" data-end=\"460\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"460\" data-end=\"463\"\u003e“YOU SUCK.\u003cbr data-start=\"473\" data-end=\"476\"\u003eMay your battery die mid drive on the busiest freeway imaginable.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"544\" data-end=\"547\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"549\" data-end=\"743\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"549\" data-end=\"565\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"565\" data-end=\"568\"\u003e• People you dislike on a spiritual level\u003cbr data-start=\"609\" data-end=\"612\"\u003e• Ex friends\u003cbr data-start=\"624\" data-end=\"627\"\u003e• Petty revenge\u003cbr data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"645\"\u003e• Sending a message that cannot be misunderstood\u003cbr data-start=\"693\" data-end=\"696\"\u003e• Anyone who deserves traffic based suffering\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"745\" data-end=\"748\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"750\" data-end=\"891\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"750\" data-end=\"777\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"777\" data-end=\"780\"\u003eBecause sometimes closure is not the goal. Sometimes the goal is wishing someone a very specific inconvenience.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529515811030,"sku":"MS-7497-“YO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/YOUSUCK._ToxicCybertruckEnemyCard-1.jpg?v=1774571434"},{"product_id":"drama-powered-engine-low-toxic-anti-energy-vampire-card","title":"“DRAMA POWERED ENGINE LOW”  Toxic Anti Energy Vampire Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"59\" data-end=\"140\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"59\" data-end=\"140\"\u003eFor the person who drains you dry and still wonders why everyone avoids them.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"142\" data-end=\"359\"\u003eSome people enter a room and lift the mood. Others walk in and instantly drain every drop of energy, joy, and will to live. They exhaust everyone around them and still act confused when the crowd magically disappears.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"361\" data-end=\"364\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"366\" data-end=\"462\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"366\" data-end=\"385\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"385\" data-end=\"388\"\u003e“You drain energy like it’s a talent.\u003cbr data-start=\"425\" data-end=\"428\"\u003eMay your battery finally tap out.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"467\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"469\" data-end=\"620\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"469\" data-end=\"485\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"485\" data-end=\"488\"\u003e• Energy vampires\u003cbr data-start=\"505\" data-end=\"508\"\u003e• Drama addicts\u003cbr data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"526\"\u003e• People who treat chaos as cardio\u003cbr data-start=\"560\" data-end=\"563\"\u003e• Petty revenge\u003cbr data-start=\"578\" data-end=\"581\"\u003e• Ex friends who still love attention\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"622\" data-end=\"625\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"627\" data-end=\"723\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"627\" data-end=\"654\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"654\" data-end=\"657\"\u003eBecause some people do not need advice, they need a hard shutdown.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529519120598,"sku":"MS-9965-“DR-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/DRAMAPOWEREDENGINELOW_ToxicAntiEnergyVampireCard-1.jpg?v=1774571408"},{"product_id":"drama-powered-engine-low-toxic-anti-energy-vampire-card-alternate-version","title":"“DRAMA POWERED ENGINE LOW”  Toxic Anti Energy Vampire Card (Alternate Version)","description":"\u003carticle class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none [--shadow-height:45px] has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none has-data-writing-block:-mt-(--shadow-height) has-data-writing-block:pt-(--shadow-height) [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" data-turn-id=\"request-WEB:947a7adf-f399-4a7f-9459-f1eb6d685e15-88\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-36\" data-scroll-anchor=\"true\" data-turn=\"assistant\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] thread-sm:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] thread-lg:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] thread-lg:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"dbb448bc-e8c3-4f58-a804-c890c9572405\" dir=\"auto\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[1px]\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words dark markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"82\" data-end=\"181\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"82\" data-end=\"181\"\u003eFor the person whose entire personality runs on chaos but somehow still manages to sputter out.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"183\" data-end=\"424\"\u003eSome people thrive on drama. Others create it from scratch. And then there are the rare talents who drain every room they enter and still manage to stall out like their emotional engine finally gave up. Being exhausting is truly their sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"426\" data-end=\"429\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"431\" data-end=\"527\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"431\" data-end=\"450\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"450\" data-end=\"453\"\u003e“You drain energy like it’s a talent.\u003cbr data-start=\"490\" data-end=\"493\"\u003eMay your battery finally tap out.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"529\" data-end=\"532\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"693\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"534\" data-end=\"550\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"550\" data-end=\"553\"\u003e• Energy vampires\u003cbr data-start=\"570\" data-end=\"573\"\u003e• Chronic dramatics\u003cbr data-start=\"592\" data-end=\"595\"\u003e• People who thrive on crisis\u003cbr data-start=\"624\" data-end=\"627\"\u003e• Petty revenge\u003cbr data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"645\"\u003e• Ex friends who wear you out just by existing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"695\" data-end=\"698\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"700\" data-end=\"796\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"700\" data-end=\"727\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"727\" data-end=\"730\"\u003eBecause some people are not low maintenance, they are low battery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/article\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529519644886,"sku":"MS-7490-“DR-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/DRAMAPOWEREDENGINELOW_ToxicAntiEnergyVampireCard_AlternateVersion_-1.jpg?v=1774571416"},{"product_id":"you-suck-the-life-out-of-everything-toxic-recharge-card","title":"\"You Suck The Life Out Of Everything\" Toxic Recharge Card","description":"\u003carticle class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none [--shadow-height:45px] has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none has-data-writing-block:-mt-(--shadow-height) has-data-writing-block:pt-(--shadow-height) [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" data-turn-id=\"request-WEB:947a7adf-f399-4a7f-9459-f1eb6d685e15-87\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-34\" data-scroll-anchor=\"true\" data-turn=\"assistant\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:--spacing(4)] thread-sm:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(6)] thread-lg:[--thread-content-margin:--spacing(16)] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] thread-lg:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"f93ac068-9215-40cc-83b5-380df2ad6b3b\" dir=\"auto\" class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[1px]\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words dark markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"102\" data-end=\"178\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"102\" data-end=\"178\"\u003eFor the person whose presence drains more power than a dying flashlight.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"180\" data-end=\"374\"\u003eSome people light up a room. Others immediately drain every ounce of energy, joy, and will to live. Being around them feels like watching your phone drop to one percent with no charger in sight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"376\" data-end=\"379\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"381\" data-end=\"502\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"381\" data-end=\"400\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"400\" data-end=\"403\"\u003e“You suck the life out of everything.\u003cbr data-start=\"440\" data-end=\"443\"\u003eHere’s hoping your battery quits before the rest of us do.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"504\" data-end=\"507\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"509\" data-end=\"706\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"509\" data-end=\"525\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"525\" data-end=\"528\"\u003e• Exes who drain energy\u003cbr data-start=\"551\" data-end=\"554\"\u003e• Coworkers who never stop taking\u003cbr data-start=\"587\" data-end=\"590\"\u003e• Friends who only call when they need something\u003cbr data-start=\"638\" data-end=\"641\"\u003e• Petty revenge\u003cbr data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"659\"\u003e• Anyone who deserves a personal power outage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"708\" data-end=\"711\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"817\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"713\" data-end=\"740\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"740\" data-end=\"743\"\u003eBecause some people do not deserve recharging. They deserve to power down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/article\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529534095574,"sku":"MS-9612-\"YO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/YouSuckTheLifeOutOfEverything_ToxicRechargeCard-1.jpg?v=1774568046"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/collections\/ChatGPT_Image_Nov_23_2025_at_07_32_13_PM.png?v=1764313322","url":"https:\/\/www.toxiccard.com\/collections\/exes-nsfw.oembed","provider":"Toxic Card","version":"1.0","type":"link"}