{"title":"Birthday","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"happy-birthday-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Happy Birthday” Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"142\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"75\" data-end=\"142\"\u003eFor the person who ages every year but somehow never levels up.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"144\" data-end=\"333\"\u003eSome people grow older. Others simply accumulate birthdays. Their maturity bar is permanently stuck at zero percent, buffering endlessly with no sign of progress. A true icon of stagnation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"335\" data-end=\"338\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"340\" data-end=\"443\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"340\" data-end=\"359\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"359\" data-end=\"362\"\u003e“Happy Birthday\u003cbr data-start=\"377\" data-end=\"380\"\u003eAnother year older, still not wiser.\u003cbr data-start=\"416\" data-end=\"419\"\u003eImpressive consistency.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"445\" data-end=\"448\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"450\" data-end=\"687\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"450\" data-end=\"466\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"466\" data-end=\"469\"\u003e• People who age but do not evolve\u003cbr data-start=\"503\" data-end=\"506\"\u003e• Friends who thrive on insults\u003cbr data-start=\"537\" data-end=\"540\"\u003e• Siblings who deserve a gentle verbal shove\u003cbr data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"587\"\u003e• Coworkers who peaked early\u003cbr data-start=\"615\" data-end=\"618\"\u003e• Anyone who treats birthdays like warnings instead of celebrations\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"689\" data-end=\"692\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"797\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"694\" data-end=\"721\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"721\" data-end=\"724\"\u003eBecause some people deserve honesty on their birthday, not encouragement.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529535078614,"sku":"MS-4592-“HA-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/HappyBirthday_ToxicBirthdayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568038"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-you-re-basically-vintage-disappointment-now-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Happy Birthday. You’re Basically Vintage Disappointment Now.”  Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"92\" data-end=\"144\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"92\" data-end=\"144\"\u003eFor the person who has aged like milk, not wine.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"146\" data-end=\"313\"\u003eSome people age gracefully. Others simply curdle. Time has passed, but improvement clearly has not, and the expiration date on their glow up is now a full crime scene.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"315\" data-end=\"318\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"320\" data-end=\"406\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"320\" data-end=\"339\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"339\" data-end=\"342\"\u003e“Happy Birthday.\u003cbr data-start=\"358\" data-end=\"361\"\u003eYou’re basically vintage disappointment now.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"408\" data-end=\"411\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"413\" data-end=\"608\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"413\" data-end=\"429\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"429\" data-end=\"432\"\u003e• People who peaked years ago\u003cbr data-start=\"461\" data-end=\"464\"\u003e• Friends who deserve a roast\u003cbr data-start=\"493\" data-end=\"496\"\u003e• Birthdays where optimism died\u003cbr data-start=\"527\" data-end=\"530\"\u003e• Relatives who age but do not mature\u003cbr data-start=\"567\" data-end=\"570\"\u003e• Anyone who needs a yearly humbling\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"610\" data-end=\"613\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"615\" data-end=\"725\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"615\" data-end=\"642\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"642\" data-end=\"645\"\u003eBecause getting older is inevitable, and dragging someone for it is an art form.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529535504598,"sku":"MS-9833-“HA-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/HappyBirthday.You_reBasicallyVintageDisappointmentNow._ToxicBirthdayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568031"},{"product_id":"congrats-on-surviving-another-lap-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Congrats On Surviving Another Lap” Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"118\" data-end=\"175\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"118\" data-end=\"175\"\u003eFor the person who keeps aging but refuses to evolve.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"177\" data-end=\"325\"\u003eThey get older, but the growth chart stays flat. Another year, same personality glitches. Truly an inspiring display of consistent underachievement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"327\" data-end=\"330\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"332\" data-end=\"450\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"332\" data-end=\"351\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"351\" data-end=\"354\"\u003e“Congrats on surviving another lap around the sun.\u003cbr data-start=\"404\" data-end=\"407\"\u003eShame, you didn’t outrun your personality.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"452\" data-end=\"455\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"457\" data-end=\"653\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"457\" data-end=\"473\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"473\" data-end=\"476\"\u003e• Birthdays\u003cbr data-start=\"487\" data-end=\"490\"\u003e• People who love running from their problems\u003cbr data-start=\"535\" data-end=\"538\"\u003e• Friends who mistake fitness for personal growth\u003cbr data-start=\"587\" data-end=\"590\"\u003e• Petty celebrations\u003cbr data-start=\"610\" data-end=\"613\"\u003e• Anyone who ages but does not improve\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"655\" data-end=\"658\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"660\" data-end=\"761\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"660\" data-end=\"687\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"687\" data-end=\"690\"\u003eBecause some people grow older, not wiser, and someone needs to say it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47529537732822,"sku":"MS-8793-“CO-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/CongratsOnSurvivingAnotherLap_ToxicBirthdayCard-1.jpg?v=1774568024"},{"product_id":"another-lap-around-the-sun-closer-to-the-finish-line-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Another lap around the sun… closer to the finish line.” Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"279\" data-end=\"416\"\u003eFor the person who treats every birthday like an endurance test and every year as one more painful reminder that the clock is undefeated.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"418\" data-end=\"885\"\u003eThis card comes in four equally bleak variants, each capturing a different flavor of existential dread. Whether it is the runner who clearly peaked ten birthdays ago, the cats who look more disappointed than affectionate, the birthday scene that has the same energy as a failing group project, or the party ambience of someone who has fully accepted their decline, each version delivers the same dark truth. Another year survived. Another step toward the finish line.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"887\" data-end=\"890\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"892\" data-end=\"970\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"892\" data-end=\"911\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"914\"\u003e“Another lap around the sun… closer to the finish line.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"972\" data-end=\"975\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"977\" data-end=\"1237\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"977\" data-end=\"993\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"993\" data-end=\"996\"\u003e• Friends who are aging in dog years\u003cbr data-start=\"1032\" data-end=\"1035\"\u003e• Relatives who insist they are still young but make noises when standing up\u003cbr data-start=\"1111\" data-end=\"1114\"\u003e• Coworkers who look emotionally finished by 9 AM\u003cbr data-start=\"1163\" data-end=\"1166\"\u003e• Petty birthday humor\u003cbr data-start=\"1188\" data-end=\"1191\"\u003e• Anyone who counts survival as an achievement\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1239\" data-end=\"1242\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1388\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1244\" data-end=\"1271\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1271\" data-end=\"1274\"\u003eBecause some birthdays are not celebrations. They are progress reports from the universe that say time is winning.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Woman Cat Mafia","offer_id":47541493301462,"sku":"MS-4028-“AN-TOXIC C-WOM","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Woman Cats Dark","offer_id":47541493334230,"sku":"MS-0346-“AN-TOXIC C-WOM","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Man Cat","offer_id":47541493366998,"sku":"MS-6009-“AN-TOXIC C-MAN","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Old Man Walker","offer_id":47541493399766,"sku":"MS-0959-“AN-TOXIC C-OLD","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/Anotherlaparoundthesun_closertothefinishline._ToxicBirthdayCard-1-1.jpg?v=1774568007"},{"product_id":"cheers-to-you-and-to-death-for-being-so-patient-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Cheers to you, and to death for being so patient.” Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"236\" data-end=\"455\"\u003eFor the person who has aged so boldly that even the Grim Reaper has started sending reminders. This card captures that moment when mortality stops by the party just to say hello and confirm your RSVP for the inevitable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"457\" data-end=\"708\"\u003eThe artwork features a grinning reaper holding a balloon and pointing directly at the birthday human like they are on his schedule. The background shows a lonely slice of cake waiting for its final journey. It looks cheerful in the worst way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"710\" data-end=\"713\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"715\" data-end=\"788\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"715\" data-end=\"734\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"734\" data-end=\"737\"\u003e“Cheers to you, and to death for being so patient.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"790\" data-end=\"793\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"795\" data-end=\"1099\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"795\" data-end=\"811\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"811\" data-end=\"814\"\u003e• Friends who joke about getting older but cry later\u003cbr data-start=\"866\" data-end=\"869\"\u003e• Anyone who says they are fine when they clearly are not\u003cbr data-start=\"926\" data-end=\"929\"\u003e• People who consider dark humor a love language\u003cbr data-start=\"977\" data-end=\"980\"\u003e• Birthdays that feel more like deadlines\u003cbr data-start=\"1021\" data-end=\"1024\"\u003e• Anyone who needs a reminder that the reaper has excellent time management\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1101\" data-end=\"1104\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1106\" data-end=\"1272\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1106\" data-end=\"1133\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1133\" data-end=\"1136\"\u003eBecause nothing says happy birthday like acknowledging the cosmic hourglass. This card delivers the perfect amount of dread and delight.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47541678440662,"sku":"MS-0271-“CH-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/Cheerstoyou_andtodeathforbeingsopatient._ToxicBirthdayCard-1.jpg?v=1774567981"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-may-your-candles-burn-brighter-than-your-bridges-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Happy Birthday. May your candles burn brighter than your bridges.” Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"396\" data-end=\"479\"\u003eFor the person whose birthday candles are the only things they have not ruined yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"481\" data-end=\"717\"\u003eSome people blow out candles. Others blow up bridges. If you know someone whose celebrations come with a side of scorched earth energy, this brutally perfect birthday card will feel like it was custom written by the people they ghosted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"719\" data-end=\"722\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"724\" data-end=\"815\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"724\" data-end=\"743\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"743\" data-end=\"746\"\u003e“Happy Birthday.\u003cbr data-start=\"762\" data-end=\"765\"\u003eMay your candles burn brighter than your bridges.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"817\" data-end=\"820\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"822\" data-end=\"1071\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"822\" data-end=\"838\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"838\" data-end=\"841\"\u003e• Friends who love drama more than peace\u003cbr data-start=\"881\" data-end=\"884\"\u003e• Exes who lit every bridge on the way out\u003cbr data-start=\"926\" data-end=\"929\"\u003e• Siblings who somehow start fights during dessert\u003cbr data-start=\"979\" data-end=\"982\"\u003e• Coworkers who should not be near fire\u003cbr data-start=\"1021\" data-end=\"1024\"\u003e• Anyone who treats relationships like kindling\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1073\" data-end=\"1076\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1078\" data-end=\"1185\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1078\" data-end=\"1105\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1105\" data-end=\"1108\"\u003eBecause some people do not need a fresh start. They need a fire extinguisher.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Man","offer_id":47541698691286,"sku":"MS-8325-“HA-TOXIC C-MAN","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Woman","offer_id":47541698724054,"sku":"MS-0585-“HA-TOXIC C-WOM","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/HappyBirthday.Mayyourcandlesburnbrighterthanyourbridges._ToxicBirthdayCard-1-1.jpg?v=1774567973"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-you-are-basically-vintage-disappointment-now-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Happy Birthday. You are basically vintage disappointment now.” Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"299\" data-end=\"359\"\u003eFor the person aging like expired milk instead of fine wine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"361\" data-end=\"607\"\u003eAt some point birthdays stop being celebrations and start being annual performance reviews you continue to fail. This card is for the person who has managed to get older without getting any better. A true vintage disappointment in mint condition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"609\" data-end=\"612\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"614\" data-end=\"701\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"614\" data-end=\"633\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"633\" data-end=\"636\"\u003e“Happy Birthday.\u003cbr data-start=\"652\" data-end=\"655\"\u003eYou are basically vintage disappointment now.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"703\" data-end=\"706\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"708\" data-end=\"947\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"708\" data-end=\"724\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"724\" data-end=\"727\"\u003e• Friends who peaked in high school\u003cbr data-start=\"762\" data-end=\"765\"\u003e• Siblings who age like spoiled leftovers\u003cbr data-start=\"806\" data-end=\"809\"\u003e• Coworkers who should not be celebrated\u003cbr data-start=\"849\" data-end=\"852\"\u003e• The chronically unimpressive\u003cbr data-start=\"882\" data-end=\"885\"\u003e• Anyone who makes you wonder how they have survived this long\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"949\" data-end=\"952\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"954\" data-end=\"1122\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"954\" data-end=\"981\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"981\" data-end=\"984\"\u003eBecause some people get older but never upgrade. You should at least give them a card honest enough to match their life performance stats.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47541729951958,"sku":"MS-6189-“HA-TOXIC C","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/HappyBirthday.Youarebasicallyvintagedisappointmentnow._ToxicBirthdayCard-1.jpg?v=1774567916"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-even-the-circus-looks-tired-of-your-shit-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“Happy Birthday. Even the circus looks tired of your shit.” Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"277\" data-end=\"714\"\u003eFor the person whose life could be its own sideshow attraction, yet somehow manages to exhaust even the clowns. This card captures that perfect mix of disappointment and chaos with a circus so fed up it looks ready to pack up the tent and leave town. Whether it is the dead eyed performers, the deflated balloon animals, or the single sad birthday candle fighting for its life, the message is clear. Everyone has officially had enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"716\" data-end=\"995\"\u003eUse whichever front image fits your mood\u003cbr data-start=\"756\" data-end=\"759\"\u003eVariant A The grumpy clown couple standing in front of a droopy circus tent and a cake that is barely trying.\u003cbr data-start=\"868\" data-end=\"871\"\u003eVariant B The even grumpier clowns surrounded by equally miserable cats, staring into the void with no will left to pretend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"997\" data-end=\"1000\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1002\" data-end=\"1085\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1002\" data-end=\"1021\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1021\" data-end=\"1024\"\u003e“Happy Birthday.\u003cbr data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1043\"\u003eEven the circus looks tired of your shit.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1087\" data-end=\"1090\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1092\" data-end=\"1348\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1092\" data-end=\"1108\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1108\" data-end=\"1111\"\u003e• Friends with never ending drama\u003cbr data-start=\"1144\" data-end=\"1147\"\u003e• Family members who drain the room\u003cbr data-start=\"1182\" data-end=\"1185\"\u003e• Partners who create chaos faster than balloon animals\u003cbr data-start=\"1240\" data-end=\"1243\"\u003e• Petty birthday greetings\u003cbr data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1272\"\u003e• Anyone who thinks they are the ringmaster when they are actually the clown\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1350\" data-end=\"1353\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1355\" data-end=\"1535\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1355\" data-end=\"1382\"\u003eWhy You Need This Card:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1382\" data-end=\"1385\"\u003eBecause sometimes the best birthday wish is an honest one, delivered with style, sarcasm, and a circus that mirrors their personality almost too well.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"Grumpy Clown Couple Variant","offer_id":47541768552662,"sku":"MS-7444-“HA-TOXIC C-GRU","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Miserable Clown and Cats Variant","offer_id":47541768585430,"sku":"MS-1160-“HA-TOXIC C-MIS","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/HappyBirthday.Eventhecircuslookstiredofyourshit._ToxicBirthdayCard-1-1.jpg?v=1774567487"},{"product_id":"you-re-older-still-annoying-af-hbd-toxic-birthday-card","title":"“You’re older. STILL ANNOYING AF. HBD.” Toxic Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"294\" data-end=\"355\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"294\" data-end=\"355\"\u003eFor the person who somehow gets more annoying every year.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"357\" data-end=\"626\"\u003eSome birthdays celebrate growth. This one celebrates the fact that everyone around them has survived another year of their chaos. No matter the audience or the setting, their personality remains the loudest guest at the party. These cards capture that energy perfectly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"628\" data-end=\"880\"\u003eEach variant shows a different scene of a birthday gathering where every single person looks exhausted, irritated, or ready to evaporate into the ceiling. Meanwhile, the birthday human beams with oblivious enthusiasm. The cats are not impressed either.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"887\" data-end=\"952\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"887\" data-end=\"906\"\u003eInside Message:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"906\" data-end=\"909\"\u003e“You’re older.\u003cbr data-start=\"923\" data-end=\"926\"\u003eSTILL ANNOYING AF.\u003cbr data-start=\"944\" data-end=\"947\"\u003eHBD!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"959\" data-end=\"1196\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"959\" data-end=\"975\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"975\" data-end=\"978\"\u003e• Friends who thrive on being the problem\u003cbr data-start=\"1019\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003e• Family members who age but never evolve\u003cbr data-start=\"1063\" data-end=\"1066\"\u003e• Coworkers who talk too much and learn too little\u003cbr data-start=\"1116\" data-end=\"1119\"\u003e• Petty birthday energy\u003cbr data-start=\"1142\" data-end=\"1145\"\u003e• Anyone whose presence creates instant eye rolling\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Toxic Card","offers":[{"title":"The Hostage Birthday Party","offer_id":47542393438422,"sku":"MS-5235-“YO-TOXIC C-THE","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Forced Celebration Crew","offer_id":47542393471190,"sku":"MS-7763-“YO-TOXIC C-THE","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"The Intervention Birthday","offer_id":47542393503958,"sku":"MS-4565-“YO-TOXIC C-THE","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/files\/You_reolder.STILLANNOYINGAF.HBD._ToxicBirthdayCard-1-1.jpg?v=1774567445"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/0615\/5478\/collections\/Birthday.png?v=1764312497","url":"https:\/\/www.toxiccard.com\/collections\/birthday-1.oembed","provider":"Toxic Card","version":"1.0","type":"link"}